Chaos

JULY -

Monday 1st July

‘Pinch, punch, first of the month!’ taunted Luke this morning, giving Billy a hefty thump on his recently mended broken arm, and knocking his bowl of Chocosplits all over the kitchen floor. Billy retaliated by lobbing his spoon at Luke’s head, narrowly missing an eye. The spoon bounced off Luke’s left eyebrow, and flew through the air, landing in the cat-litter tray. Our new kitten, Rufus, was not impressed with this interruption of his morning ablutions, and shot off mid-poo into the lounge, where he deposited a squishy offering on my newly laundered sofa cover.

‘For God’s sake!’ I yelled at both boys.

It’s such a relief when they go off to school for the day. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the summer holidays with all of them here together. Flora and Tom have finished their exams, and I’m secretly pleased they don’t surface until lunch time, but it’s beginning to get on Andrew’s nerves.

‘They can’t do this all summer,’ he said, over breakfast, – ‘I worked in the holidays when I was their age.’

‘Well, they have just had all their exams,’ I said. ‘They need a bit of down-time now.’

‘They’ve had enough ‘down-time’, Dora. If they have any more, they’ll slip into a coma! We’ve got to find them a job.’

He’s right, but the thought of going into combat with two stroppy teenagers at this moment in time is more than daunting.

I changed the subject. ‘Any news from your parents?’

‘No,’ said Andrew. ‘I’m not sure I want any either’.

The last we heard was that they were staying at the Hilton (all expenses paid, courtesy of an unknown newspaper). On the one hand, this is a good thing, because it means the inordinate amount of money it cost us to get them released from Bogotá prison will hopefully be returned to us ASAP. But, on the other hand, we will have to endure the tabloid journalists and their unscrupulous methods of obtaining information, which is most definitely a bad thing. Andrew had to take the phone off the hook last night after seventeen phone calls. We’ve told the children not to talk to ANYONE about ANYTHING. Goodness knows what dreadful headline will appear next. Andrew says it will all blow over in a week or two, and everyone will forget about it. I’m afraid I don’t share his optimism.